The only difference between a problem being painful or powerful is a sense that we chose it willingly. If you're unhappy in your current situation, it's likely because you feel like some part of it is outside your control.
We can't always control what happens to us, but we can always control how we interpret what happens to us as well as how we respond. The more we choose to accept responsibility in our lives, the more power we will exercise over our lives.
There's a difference between fault and responsibility. Fault results from choices that have already been made. Responsibility results from the choices you make every day. Some people are dealt better cards in life, but the real game depends on what we choose to do with those cards. People who make the best choices are eventually the ones that come out ahead and it's not necessarily the people with the best cards.
Choosing the right values will be difficult and you will likely feel uncertain and uncomfortable. But it's worth it.